


Portrait of a Young Girl

by trishjames



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Arguments, Brief mention of religion, Bullying, Catharsis, Commitment, Daycare, Denial, Eloped Couple, Established Relationship, Family, Fluff, Funeral, Gift Fic, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Hope, Implied Gender Dysphoria, Implied Internalised Homophobia, Inexperienced Parenting, Inexperienced Parents, Kid Fic, Lads Being Dads, Love, M/M, Marital Problems, Minor Character Death, Misgendering, Mistakes, New Parents, Post-Hogwarts, Post-War, Promises, Recently married, Romance, Stay-at-Home Dad Draco, Trans child, Young Couple, parenting, tantrums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 07:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18686977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trishjames/pseuds/trishjames
Summary: Recently married, Harry and Draco are tasked with raising a four-year old Teddy, whose emerging gender identity brings up an array of questions, fears, and revelations for them when they realise that Teddy might be transgender.





	Portrait of a Young Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I tried my hardest to craft this short story with the love, care, and compassion it so rightly deserves. This story, though discussing issues pertaining to a child’s gender identity, is viewed and discussed mostly through the lens of the adults around them. This was a conscientious decision made to enforce the fact that although I am aware of the struggles trans and non gender-conforming people experience, I myself have never experienced these struggles.
> 
> I would like to dedicate this story to the bravest person I know— my best friend Jaime, who has been my partner in every sense of the word throughout our twenty-year long friendship. We met when we were just wee babes joining our primary school’s Harry Potter Club. You were my Prongs and I was your Padfoot. We came together and surged forward, never looking back. As you continue to grow and become your truest self, I just want you to know that I will continue to follow you through every step of the way with a heart full of admiration and love.
> 
> It takes a village! I would like to thank my amazing, truly talented Alpha and friend [buildyourwalls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buildyourwalls/pseuds/Buildyourwalls), who encouraged me from the trenches onward while providing me beautiful, nuanced thoughts and ideas to better shape this story. You are so brilliant and I appreciate you so much! Another thank you to [KristinaBird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kristinabird/pseuds/Kristinabird/works) for the friendly thorough read-through. **Mae** for your insights. And finally, a massive and heartwarming thank you to [onereader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onereader/works?fandom_id=136512) for being my lovely, meticulous beta! You are such a gem.

_All I wanted comes in colours_  
_Vanish every day_  
_I'll keep these promises, these promises_  
_Stranger things will come before you_  
_Always out of the way_  
_We keep these promises, these promises_

 _Can you call it?_  
_See it coming_  
_Just enough to tell a story_  
_'Bout a portrait of a young girl_  
_Waiting for a new year._

 _—_ _[New Year](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agg0oNt-204) _by Beach House

 

Harry and Draco eloped on a cold mid-November morning. Harry had rented a car and they had driven for over a day to the tiny magical community in Felixstowe. A day into their stay in the seaside town, they stopped at a small church ran by an ancient wizard to seal the deal through a short bonding ceremony. They had been dating for two years already, defying all expectations and bets from friends and family that the relationship wouldn’t last beyond a month. They waited to tell their friends and family, deciding to explore the Eastern region and the beaches that lined the coast. Harry found that he loved the notion of keeping their marriage a secret for those few short weeks. After all, secrets are seductive, and Draco was the most seductive presence in his life. He wanted to keep it all to himself for as long as possible.

But all good things come to an end. They had to re-join the real world, and with that came sending off their marriage certificate to the Ministry and coming clean to their families. It had been messy and confusing and upsetting, but they had survived it.

Harry is married to Draco Malfoy. And maybe not every day is a happy day, but it is enough for them both that their love rings true and free.

**\---**

One year into their marriage, Harry receives word that Andromeda has died. 

Another part of his family—their family—gone forever.

But in her absence, she’s given him the child he never thought he would have— she’s named Teddy as his ward, with Draco as his cousin by blood and soon to be the other parent. They both made a promise to Teddy to love and take care of him, no matter what.

They keep the funeral small. Only a few close friends and family, except for Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. Andromeda never reconciled with her sister and always said she never wanted to. Harry is dressed in a black robe over an equally dark suit. His tie is undone as he sits on the edge of his seat, hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped tightly between them. His gaze is determinedly fixed on the grass under his shoes. He inwardly winces every time he hears the strangled gulp for air coming from the right of him. Teddy may not fully grasp what’s happening around him, but he knows his grandmother is dead and never coming back. Harry finally turns to face the little boy, perched in Draco’s lap and gasping out sobs, his hair a drab brown as fat dollops of tears stream down his face. He opens his arms and Teddy immediately throws himself into his lap, his short little arms wrapping around him as he sobs wetly into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” Harry croaks, rubbing soothing circles into Teddy’s back. “I’m so sorry.”

There’s a sermon going on about remembrance and something-something, God heals wounds, something-something by the C of E Minister Hermione picked for the service, much to his chagrin. He knew Andromeda was strictly C of E growing up due to the powerful Pureblood families aligning with the Church in the earlier phase of the English Reformation to avoid persecution and quite literally, historically, follow the money and power…but she wasn’t so close to religion or spirituality in her later years.

During the funeral planning Hermione had said, “She would have liked to have honoured _some_ aspect of the Black tradition, wouldn’t you say, Harry? Draco?”

Draco shrugged, and Harry couldn’t think about anything beyond how in the hell they were going to explain death to a four-year-old. “Let it be religion,” Hermione declared. Better that than ruminate over the tradition of madness that seemed to permeate the Black bloodlines.

The Minister stands in his gleaming vestments before the beautiful mahogany coffin Draco chose. She’s going to be buried in a navy-blue silk dress Harry thought to be her favourite.

“But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will change our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power which enables him even to subject all things to himself,” the Minister drones. Teddy sobs harder.

 _Thanks a lot Hermione_ , Harry thinks bitterly. He knows his anger is misplaced. He buries his nose into Teddy’s hair. Draco’s hand darts out to rest lightly on his knee. He draws in a deep breath, the touch calming his nerves and the sharp pain of loss he feels. His gaze locks with Draco’s and within a few seconds, they’ve decided on what to do next. Draco jerks his head. Harry nods. He gets up and walks away from the sermon, Teddy still cradled against his chest. They both needed a distraction. Harry knows that an ice cream for Teddy and a moment of silence for him was needed. He’ll send a Patronus to Draco when they make it to Diagon Alley.

“It’s going to be alright, mate,” Harry murmurs against the child’s ear, bouncing him slightly to soothe his soft sobs. “You are so loved, Teddy. I promise…Draco and I promise…to _always_ take care of you, to _always_ love you.”

With every fibre of his being, he was certain of this promise. They were going to get through this loss together. 

As a family.

**\---**

They never had any problems discussing this with him before, but for the last week Teddy has spurned Draco whenever he broached the topic of wearing his regular clothes.

Harry just so happens to be running late for work when he stumbles upon his distraught husband, framed in Teddy’s doorway, clutching a pair of child-sized jeans to his chest.

Teddy is sprawled on his back, his little legs kicking out against the fluffy pillows and blankets underneath the silky, gauzy champagne-coloured fabric of the massive fort in the middle of his bedroom. The fairy lights and cut-out star and moon shapes that are supposed to be hanging from the roof of the fort has been pulled down and strewn about the room in what looks like a fit of rage. Harry cringes at Teddy’s high-pitched wailing.

This is the third time this week Teddy has sunk to the floor to turn into dead, albeit screaming, weight. Draco tries to explain to Teddy why he can’t go to a muggle daycare in his play dress, but the little boy is not having it. “Again?’ Harry asks, loud enough for Draco to hear. Draco jumps, his head whipping to the side to stare at him.

“ _Oh_ , thank Merlin you’re still here,” Draco says, relief flooding his face, his shoulders sagging. He quickly glances down at his wristwatch with a small frown. “Teddy’s going to be as late as you are if I don’t get him dressed in the next five minutes,” he says loud and clear over the wails. This just makes Teddy cry harder, his bare feet slapping harder against the cushioned surface of his floor.

Harry shoots Draco a commiserating look. He didn’t ask Draco to quit his job as a Financial Analyst at Gringotts a year ago to help with Teddy, but he insisted and for a whole year home-schooled him. Draco wanted to continue to home-school Teddy, but Gringotts had convinced him to agree to a part-time position which allowed him to work from home and only come in once a month – they missed his brilliant mind terribly. They were both trying to make this whole parenting thing work—and _Merlin,_ the number of parenting and grief-counselling books Draco is still powering through is staggering—but they still seem to be making a cockup of everything, even after all this time. Draco especially was the main one catching the most of Teddy’s ear-bashing and Harry had no idea why. Anytime Teddy threw a tantrum, they both quickly realised that only Harry could smooth over the child’s ire, making Draco feel even more incompetent and despondent.

“Okay, mate! Enough of that, now, you’re going to make yourself sick,” Harry says calmly, moving to crouch down into the fort beside Teddy’s flailing little body. As Harry pushes back Teddy’s unruly jet-black hair from his flushed tear-stained face, his wails ease, and he begins to sniffle. “Tell me what’s wrong, love.”

“D-D-Draco is b-b-being mean and says I-I-I can’t wear my dress to _school!_ ” Teddy chokes out, his clear blue eyes full of anguish, looking so very out of place on his incredibly young visage. The dress in question—a lavender-coloured thing with a full frilly skirt that was one of many Andromeda purchased for Teddy’s playtime— was currently spread across Teddy’s bed.

“You know the rules, Edward. You get to play dress-up at home but when you go outside you must wear regular clothes,” Draco says exasperatedly from his spot by the door. 

“DON’T CALL ME THAT! I DON’T WANT TO!” Teddy screams, his little hands pushing away Harry’s hand from his forehead.

“I know you don’t want to, but you _have_ to, young man!” Draco says, now stepping fully into the room to stand beside Harry, his arms crossed against his chest. 

Teddy stops flailing about and purses his lips, his little face going a brilliant shade of red before he screams out, “Draco, I _hate_ you!” 

Harry gasps sharply, his heart skipping a beat and his brain freezing at the same time. He’s never heard Teddy say something like this before and unable to speak, he turns to glance up at Draco. 

Draco is as still as a stone, the expression on his pale face blank— _withdrawn_. Harry knows better, though. He knows that underneath that outward stoniness, Draco’s heart is breaking into a million little pieces.

Harry finds his voice. “Draco…”

His husband just shakes his head sharply before turning on his heel to calmly walk out of the bedroom. Harry’s torn between chasing after Draco or getting Teddy to stop crying and dressed for school. In the end, he decides on the latter.

“Okay, mate. That’s _enough,_ ” Harry says firmly. “You _will_ put on your regular clothes…but I will let you wear your sparkly shoes with your outfit.” They were a pair of red sparkly shoes Harry had bought him after they watched the _Wizard of Oz_ together a few months after his adoption. Draco absolutely hated the shoes, but they were Teddy’s most prized possession. He said they reminded him of Dorothy’s pair and she was his idol.

Teddy immediately calms down and sits up. Harry sighs and wonders if perhaps he has lost the upper hand here. He finally rises from his squatted position to rummage through Teddy’s chest of drawers for another pair of jeans, as Draco had walked out with the initial pair.

“And you _will_ apologise to Draco, Teddy. I know you’re angry that we won’t let you wear your dress-up clothes, but when you’re angry there are other words you can use besides the word _hate_ — it’s a very strong, _mean_ word. You really hurt Draco’s feelings saying it,” Harry explains. Teddy has already started to wrestle off his pyjama shirt, and Harry plops down on the floor in front of him to help him with his bottoms and pants, swapping each article of clothing out with his daycare outfit.

“No,” Teddy says resolutely, one tiny hand clinging onto Harry’s forearm as he balances on one socked foot, the other resting on Harry’s knee so Harry can tie the laces of his shoes.

“No, what?”

“I won’t apologise! Draco is mean. Gran was never mean like that! She always let me wear my own clothes and she always called me Thea!”

_What did he just say?_

Anxiety sets in. It trickles down Harry’s spine and for a moment he can hardly breathe. He tries to recall if he’s ever heard Andromeda call Teddy Thea and for the life of him he can’t. Harry hurries up and ties Teddy’s other shoe. When he’s done, he then cradles Teddy’s tiny hands in his own. He stares into his child’s eyes, searching, _wondering if maybe…_

Was there more going on in Teddy’s mind than just playing dress up and frolicking around with dolls? Did he really want to be called Thea? Why did Andromeda never mention this to him before? Why would she want to keep it private? Why from _him?_ What the _fuck_ were they going to do?

Harry takes a deep breath.

“Do you want to be called Thea?” Harry asks, his voice hesitant and unsure. Teddy’s eyes widen a bit with excitement but before he can answer, a bright-silver, translucent Jack Russell Terrier comes running towards them.

_“…Harry! It’s a quarter past ten, mate! Get your arse to the office now before Robards starts rounds or I’m telling him you’ve fucked off!”_

Teddy breaks into a peal of giggles. “Uncle Ron said naughty words!” The tension in Harry breaks as Teddy cheerfully pokes at the Patronus before it dissipates.  

“We’ll have to get Uncle Ron to put a knut in the Swear Jar the next time we have him over,” Harry says. His heart clenches painfully, and for once in a very, very long time, he feels like a coward. He reaches out and pulls Teddy to him, wrapping the small child into a fierce hug before kissing his forehead.

**\---**

Harry leads Teddy down to the kitchen after shooting a quick response back to Ron. Draco is standing by the sink nursing a cup of tea. On the kitchen table he has a set up for Teddy a slice of crustless toasted buttered bread alongside scrambled eggs, a glass of milk, and Teddy’s favourite – apple slices smeared with peanut butter and cottage cheese. The child makes a beeline for the food and Draco shoves a mug of tea into Harry’s hands without saying a word. 

At Draco’s continued silence, Harry sets his mug of tea down and wraps his arms around Draco, hugging him close before pulling back and vigorously rubbing his arms up and down with a sigh. He offers a weary smile.

“I’m sure it’s normal behaviour for a five-year-old to blurt out hurtful words to his parents. You’re brilliant with him, you know this.”

Draco snorts.

“Also, I think…I think we need to have a longer conversation later on about what might be going on here, Draco.”

“What? He wants autonomy over how he dresses…I refuse to let him mix work with play. It’ll pass.”

“I think the issue runs deeper than Teddy wanting to frolic around school in his play-clothes.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Draco says quietly, his face a cool mask of indifference. “But what I do know is that you need to get to work and I need to get Teddy to school before his teacher has my B-O-L-L-O-C-K-S,” Draco spells out.

Harry nods, withdrawing his hands from Draco’s warm but still stiff body. “Right you are,” he says, quickly picking his cup of tea up for a few rapid sips. Draco hasn’t addressed Teddy directly yet. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Draco shrugs. “I have to be, right?”

“He didn’t mean it like that. You know he loves you. He doesn’t hate you,” Harry whispers. 

Draco draws in a long breath, his eyes suspiciously shiny. “I know. Doesn’t hurt any less to hear it.”

Something inside Harry melts at the admission. He feels so sorry that Draco took the brunt of Teddy’s ire this morning, and he realises that maybe he needs to spend more time with them during their morning routines, if only to alleviate some of the stress Draco carries in his duties as a mostly stay-at-home dad. He leans in and kisses Draco on the lips. “I’m so sorry, love.”

Draco kisses him back. “It’s okay, go on now. I understand. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

Harry nods and makes his way towards the kitchen Floo, but not before ruffling Teddy’s hair and shooting a concerned, shaky smile at his husband.

Draco mouths again, “I’m fine.”

Harry so desperately wishes that Draco’s words were true.

**\---**

It’s the first scorching hot day of the summer and Teddy, Draco, and Harry wake early to scramble about the house to gather all the items they’ll need for a picnic hosted by some of the daycare mums.

On his way to get Teddy dressed, Harry catches sight of Draco standing in the middle of their living room, looking delectable in a pair of tight dark blue chino shorts and a light blue short-sleeved button up, the first few buttons undone and exposing a strip of his tantalising pale chest. Harry steps into the room, an eyebrow quirking.

“ _Well_ , hello there,” Harry says with a lazy grin, his gaze zeroing in on the long column of Draco’s pale neck and hint of exposed chest. “You’re dressed rather scandalously. Are you trying to seduce a few mums at this picnic?” Draco snorts. He has one hand on his hip and his wand in the other as he levitates baby wipes, bug spray, a whole first aid kit, bottled water, and so much sunscreen it could cover a small army into a large wicker picnic basket. “You do know we only have one child, right?” 

Draco rolls his eyes. “You don’t know how these mums are, love. They take the, ‘what’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine’, thing way too seriously.”

“Well, it takes a village,” Harry quips, coming up to pull Draco in for a hug, his hands snaking down to cup Draco’s arse and his nose bumping against his ear. “Mmm, you smell nice.” 

“Harry, we’re going to be late…and Teddy is still doing Merlin knows what upstairs…”

“Shhh…” Harry murmurs as he kisses Draco’s neck languidly. “We should plant some fresh fruits and vegetables out back.” He starts lining kisses across Draco’s jaw. “And get a puppy.” He kisses the sensitive spot under Draco’s ear. “And set up more bedrooms…for more babies,” he finally says, placing a kiss on the corner of Draco’s mouth.

Draco’s eyes flutter shut as he hums approvingly. “I’ll think about it— now shut up and kiss me,” he haughtily demands before yanking Harry in for a fierce, wet kiss, fingers sinking into and tightly gripping the overlong strands of Harry’s hair.  

“HARRY!” shouts Teddy’s high-pitched squeaky voice. “HARRY, I CAN’T FIND MY SPARKLY SHOES!”

“Merlin, help me,” Harry mutters against Draco’s now upturned lips. Draco playfully shoves him back. 

“Go help the poor lad.”

“ _Argh_ , okay,” Harry says, but not before yanking Draco back against him for a final kiss, his hand once more on Draco’s arse as he gives his pert bum a tight squeeze. Draco gasps against his mouth, and _Merlin_ , the things Harry wants to do to this man…but it’ll have to wait for the sake of sparkly shoes.

**\---**

“I think you and your husband are so brave for adopting such a complicated child.”

 _Holy fucking shit,_ Harry’s mind whirrs. The mums of Little Angels Daycare are only half a strawberry daiquiri into this soiree and the bizarrely inappropriate conversations are already starting.

Draco turns his nose up. “Whatever do you mean? My son is perfect.” As Draco says this, Teddy runs by, chasing his gaggle of girl friends from the daycare. He’s been wearing his hair down to his shoulders, and when he’s around his muggle cohorts he knows to maintain the same white-blonde colour of Draco’s. Harry does a double-take when he realises that someone has painted Teddy’s cheeks with pink glitter to match the pink, lace and tulle tutu fairy costume he’s wearing. The faux-fairy wings attached to his back glint in the bright summer sunlight as his gleeful giggles cut through the chit-chat of the adults. When they arrived at the park, the mums insisted that Teddy dress up after watching him fuss over the girls lining up to pull on fairy wings and their own respective tutus. Like Teddy, Draco had been on the edge of becoming apoplectic at the suggestion, so Harry had graciously agreed to let Teddy play dress-up to avoid having _two_ raging blondes on his hands. 

Another mum laughs awkwardly, her hand darting out to tap Draco’s elbow. “Oh! She just meant that Edward is just such a… _unique_ …child. We’re simply not used to such a unique, creative little boy at Little Angels.”

The first mum nods. “He _is_ very imaginative. But I was just telling Miranda the other day how easy it’ll be for you when Pre-School Application Season arrives. I mean, you’ll want Edward to go to Legacy Child Academy this autumn, correct? It’s the best private school in our borough. They’re always looking to diversify their student body.”

Harry and Draco share a look. Harry has to bite back his sneer as he clears his throat. “Would he make a promising applicant because of his two dads…or because one of his dad’s is of mixed heritage…or both?” Draco coughs loudly to hide his guffaw before he takes a sip from his drink.

The offending mum immediately flushes. “Oh! Oh, _no_ , I didn’t mean…I just meant because Edward is so _different_ from the other children! The Academy would consider his differences a plus…”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, Shelly, but I don’t appreciate it,” Draco snaps, the air of amusement evaporating from his face. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Harry and I have sugar-free rocket lollies to pass out before they melt.” Draco grabs Harry’s hand and hauls him away from the two stunned women. “Daft cow,” Draco mutters as they make their way to their blanket and wicker basket. Teddy is sitting on the blanket with his best friend Maggie as they blow bubbles from a small purple bottle.

“Draco! Harry! Did you see my bubbles? Aren’t they pretty?” Teddy blows some bubbles in Draco’s direction, the apples of his cheeks swelling as he grins up at them.

“Yes, they are, sweetheart,” Draco chuckles, his scowl transforming so quickly into a bright grin that Harry almost experiences whiplash.

“Well done, Teddy-bear,” Harry adds, his hand coming to rest on the small of Draco’s back. “I’m glad you won’t let some stupid, backwards talk ruin your mood.”

“It’ll take a lot more than some needling cow to spoil such a lovely day,” Draco scoffs.

And it is a lovely day. St James’s Park is bursting to the brim with people, and the daycare mums have carved out a nice section of the park to host their picnic event. “Come here,” Draco suddenly mutters, tugging him close to gently kiss him in front of all the pearl-clutching daycare mums. When they separate, Teddy is beaming up at them and more than a few parents are looking their way. “Love you,” Draco whispers with a wink.

“Love you, too,” Harry says, feeling terribly warm and fuzzy. He shakes himself a bit and claps his hands together. “Alrighty, Teddy, why don’t you help Draco and me pass out ice lollies to your classmates?”

“Yeah!” Teddy cheers, standing and bouncing from foot to foot. “Can Maggie help?” he asks. Maggie’s face lights up.

“If her mummy doesn’t mind, of course!” Harry responds, looking around for Maggie’s mum. 

“Oh, she won’t!” Maggie says excitedly. “Here! I’ll take you to her!” She jumps to her feet, grabbing Harry’s hand and taking Teddy’s in the other.

**\---**

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Harry gasps, his heart jumping into his throat as he recognises Teddy’s little voice ringing out from across the park. He immediately drops the bag of ice lollies in his hands and spins on his heel, his eyes frantically searching for Teddy’s blonde head and bright fairy wings. 

“Oh no!” the little girl before him from the daycare pouts, staring down at the ruined lollies.

There. Near the gates of the park stands Teddy. How the _fuck_ did they allow him to stray so far away from them? There are three taller boys looming over Teddy, whose little hands are balled into fists at his sides, his bag of ice lollies spilled out at his feet.

It all happens within seconds—

Teddy’s friend, Maggie screams, “LEAVE HER ALONE!” as one of the older boys rips Teddy’s fairy wings from off his back. Another boy holds Maggie back while the last one shoves Teddy, hard, causing him to fall roughly backwards onto his bum. “You’re a _freak!”_ shouts the boy. Teddy then bursts into wild, devastating tears.

Before he can stop to think, Harry breaks into a run, dodging the maze of parents and kids spread out on their blankets in the grass. His heart pounds against his ribcage as he watches the boy with Teddy’s wings throw them onto the ground and take off running out the park, his hoodlum friends following behind him. 

“Mr Potter!” Maggie cries out when Harry’s in front of them. He wants to chase after the boys, hex them to oblivion, but Teddy’s red face and shattered expression causes Harry to lose his breath as he crouches down in front of him. “Mr Potter, they hurt Thea!”

“Teddy,” Harry says frantically, his hands reaching out to the trembling child, but Teddy jerks back, shaking his head wildly from side to side through his gasping cries.

 _“DRACO!”_ Teddy screams hysterically between his cries. " _DRACO!”_

Harry falls back onto his bum, his eyes going wide in confusion, panic, and fear as Teddy continues to scream out for Draco. There’s a soft _pop_ and Draco is at Harry’s side, scooping Teddy up into his arms so he can cling to him like a lifeline, his sobs devastating. Harry can’t even think about the fact that Draco Apparated in a _muggle park_ and in front of a muggle child because his husband’s face is so thunderous—so intensely _murderous_ —that Harry has, once again in the span of mere seconds, lost his breath.    

Harry tears his gaze away from them to glance at Maggie, her dark brown eyes brimming with silent tears as she wrings her hands nervously in front of her tiny body. “Maggie, I’m so sorry…here, let me take you back to your mummy so I can explain what happened.”

As Harry gets to his feet to take Maggie’s hand, Draco is sinking down to sit in the grass, his legs gracefully folding underneath him, Teddy’s body still curled around him and whimpering. He can’t discern the soft murmur of words coming from Draco as he rocks Teddy. He instead nods to himself and with Maggie at his side, makes his way back to the picnic.

“Will Thea be okay?” Maggie asks, looking up at him with a solemn expression.

Harry’s heart is once more slamming against his ribcage, and he swallows thickly to soothe the burning ball of pressure pressing up his throat.

“Yes. Thea will be okay.”

**\---**

“I’m going to give him a bath, can you set up the fort?” 

They’re standing close together on the second-floor landing right outside the bathroom. Draco hasn’t put Teddy down at all since scooping him up at the park. Teddy’s head rests limply on Draco’s shoulder, his breathing soft and slow as he suckles his thumb. It’s a habit that he hasn’t indulged in for almost a year, but Harry doesn’t say anything and neither does Draco— small comforts. 

“Yeah, of course,” Harry says, mentally and physically exhausted. “The Ministry—” 

“ _F-U-C-K_ the Ministry, Harry. If I get censured for Apparating in a muggle place, so be it. My son, _your_ son, was in pain.”

Harry nods. “You’re right. If anything happens, I’ll handle it.”

“Good.” And with that Draco carries Teddy’s limp body into the bathroom. 

With a sigh, Harry heads to Teddy’s bedroom, swinging open the door and Summoning his wand into his hand. There’s a heavy sadness resting in the centre of his chest. He doesn’t want Draco to blame him for what happened with Teddy today. He hadn’t paid enough attention to Teddy’s whereabouts. He hadn’t made it in time to stop the boys from bullying Teddy. He hadn’t stopped Maggie from calling Teddy Thea. And fuck, he hadn’t stopped Teddy from dressing up in a tutu, putting on fairy wings, and wearing glitter.

He hadn’t stopped him because Harry _knows._ He  _knows._

He takes a look around the room, tidying up the fort and sending clothes, toys, and shoes flying in their appropriate places. He sends a pair of pyjamas floating down the hall and into the bathroom for Teddy. He tries to look at the room as if he’s seeing it for the first time or maybe through the eyes of a stranger. He takes in the colourful atmosphere—all the bright pastel shades, the dolls Andromeda showered him and now they shower him with, the muggle posters of _The Wizard of Oz,_ the books on princesses, and all the princess clothing.

This is not a phase. It’s been staring them in the face and time and time again they keep ignoring it.

Harry quickly makes his way to Teddy’s bed, sitting heavily on the edge as he begins to heat up. His heart is racing wildly and he feels faint. He unbuttons the top of his shirt, his hand vigorously rubbing at his throat and chest as he wills his heartbeat to return to a normal pace.

He knows what it’s like to be called a _freak—_  to be punished for being different. Those boys today in the park reminded Harry of his own childhood, of being pummelled and pushed around.

How were they going to protect Teddy from that kind of treatment? How, especially now, after witnessing just a sliver of the type of cruelty Teddy may face in such a discriminating world? 

“Harry?” Draco says, stepping into the bedroom on quiet, socked feet. His face is paler than usual, his jaw set and his expression blank. Teddy’s hand is clasped in Draco’s, his own little face withdrawn, his eyes hooded— a sign of exhaustion.

Harry tries to shake himself free from the crushing gloom spreading through him. “Just wrapping up,” Harry says, moving from off the bed. “You want to sleep in the bed or the fort, love?”

Teddy yawns and points to the fort. Harry pockets his wand and reaches out for him, leading him to the plush pillows and blankets. When Teddy’s properly tucked in, Harry switches on the fairy lights and charms the cut outs of the stars and moon to twinkle against the soft amber lighting.

“Enjoy your nap, darling. We’ll check on you later,” Harry whispers, leaning forward to kiss Teddy on the forehead.

Draco’s arms are wrapped tightly around his body, his face still a blank canvas. Harry places his hand lightly on his hip, leading him out the bedroom and into the hallway.

“Teddy told me what happened. Those _fucking_ monsters,” Draco growls as soon as Harry quietly shuts Teddy’s door. 

“I know, I know,” Harry says, reaching out to push Draco’s fringe back. “But Draco. We _need_ to talk about this. What’s happening with Teddy, we can’t keep—”

Draco takes a step back. He looks like a man who has the entire world on his shoulders, and for a moment, Harry feels like he’s staring into a mirror. “Not today, Harry. Just…not today,” he says stiffly and with finality. He turns away and heads down the hall to their bedroom.  

**\---**

Harry and Draco are just removing their winter jackets and scarves when Hermione steps through the floo. Teddy’s small frame is pressed against her shoulder and he’s slightly snoring. His peaceful, cherub face and current wild white blond hair pulls a warm smile from Harry. Draco immediately rushes forward to relieve Hermione of him, taking care not to wake him from his slumber. He smiles at her and then turns to Harry with a nod before making his way up the stairs to Teddy’s bedroom.

“A joy, as always. Ron’s certain Teddy’s going to be a better chess player than him one of these days,” Hermione says, tucking a wayward curl that’s escaped from her bun behind her ear. She looks a bit troubled, but before Harry can ask what’s wrong, she asks, “How was your date night?”

Harry launches into a recount of their night—of the terrible seafood restaurant they stumbled across in Camden and the old cinema they went to afterwards to catch a black-and-white French film. She nods and smiles along, but the tightness in her face hasn’t relented, and Harry knows something is wrong.

He’s proven right when Hermione asks if they could all have a seat as soon as Draco returns to the living room.

“Tonight, as I was breastfeeding Rose, Teddy asked me when _his_ breasts would grow in,” Hermione starts solemnly. “I thought it was funny but when I giggled, Teddy became incredibly upset and irritated. I then explained to him that he’s a little boy and little boys do not grow up with breasts like some women do, but Teddy insisted that he is _not_ a little boy but a _girl_ , and that he will grow breasts and be a mummy just like me one day.” 

Harry immediately turns to his husband, confused as to what he should be feeling right now. This has been a long time coming, and the fact that Teddy has so openly mentioned this to Hermione confirms the creeping thoughts Harry has tried desperately to keep at the back of his mind. This is not going to go away. 

Draco’s mouth slides open in shock. “And what did you say to him when he said that?”

Hermione’s knee bounces, her hands clasping tightly in her lap as she gives a small, resigned shrug. “I asked them if they’ve always felt like a girl,” Hermione says slowly. It’s not lost on him the neutral pronouns Hermione is using. They swirl around his head, making him feel dizzy. 

“And?” Harry asks, his throat feeling very dry. “What did he say?”

“ _She_ said yes. I asked her if that makes her feel happy, she said yes, and then I told her I was happy for her.”

Draco suddenly jumps to his feet, whirling on her. “Are you absolutely daft? Why would you _encourage_ that line of thought?”

Hermione scowls and is suddenly on her feet as well, her expression growing dark. “Are _you_ daft, Malfoy? I’m not going to tell a child who may very well be experiencing gender dysphoria that what they’re feeling is wrong or inappropriate.”

“Gender dysphoria!?  _He’s five years old!_ Take your psychobabble bollocks and get the fuck out of my house, Granger!”

There’s a rise in tension and voices as Hermione snaps back at Draco and Draco hisses at her. Harry raises both hands in a silent plea to _stop_ , rising to his feet and stepping between them before they draw wands.

“Hermione, thank you for bringing this to our attention, but Draco and I would appreciate it if you kept this information to yourself for now.” 

Hermione looks affronted. “Of course! I would never—”

“Yeah right!” Draco shouts at her over Harry’s shoulder. “You can’t help yourself—you’ll tell everyone!”

“Draco, _stop!_ Hermione, I _know_. I just wanted to confirm. This is a serious matter that Draco and I need to discuss privately.” 

“I understand. I just ask that when you do, you come at the situation with an open heart and an open mind.”

Harry nods, a tight smile gracing his face. Draco stands stiffly behind him, his breathing sharp and in staccato huffs as they both watch Hermione take the floo back to her cottage in Devon. Once she’s gone, Draco makes a beeline to his previously vacated armchair and flings himself onto it.

“She’s out of her _fucking_ mind if she thinks we’re going to entertain that behaviour!” 

Harry swallows, his shoulders aching as he realises that he’s been holding himself taut since they all initially sat down. “I happen to agree with her, Draco. This isn’t something we can continue to ignore.”

Draco’s silent for a moment. “He just has a vivid imagination. We don’t _know_. How can we _know?_ ”

“Draco, please,” Harry implores, pinching the bridge of his nose. “C’mon.”

Draco shakes his head and sighs. “How did this even happen?”

“I don’t know, but Andromeda never cared about what’s considered the norm in her child-rearing. She let Teddy play with dolls and wear girls clothing all the time. She must’ve known just how...different...Teddy is and tried her best to make him happy. She wouldn’t let me speak a single word against his choices. Apparently, she even let him call himself a different name,” Harry says. Draco eyes him levelly.

“What do you mean a different name?”

“I…well. Remember when Teddy dropped the H-bomb?” Harry asks. Draco cringes and nods– even after all this time it’s still a sore topic for him. “He told me that Andromeda used to call him Thea.”

“Thea,” Draco repeats dully, running his fingers through his hair once more. “ _Fuck_.”

Harry nods. “I should have mentioned it to you when it happened, but it just took me off guard. I’m ashamed to admit that I took the coward’s way out by not talking to him or you about it in depth. I mean, we’ve dressed him in a frock more than a handful of times, it’s been harmless…not that I think that’s a viable answer to your question…I seriously never thought it was a big deal. He’s just a baby.”

“He’s _not_ a baby anymore, Harry! He’s _five_. These are crucial, socially formative years.”

Harry pauses for a moment and rolls his shoulders to loosen the tension building in his body. “Well, what do you think we should do?”

Draco runs a hand through his locks, mussing his hair and looking endearingly adorable. As grave as the situation they’ve found themselves in, Harry finds a small smile as he waits for Draco to respond.

“I don’t know. I mean, how seriously should we take a five-year-old?” 

Harry shifts in his seat. He’s uncomfortable with the idea of outright dismissing any concern or want Teddy may have. “I think we can trust him on this, Draco. We just can’t go around ignoring an outcry.” 

“ _Is_ it an outcry? What if he…what if he just likes playing dress up? That’s all it’s ever been! What if it’s a phase, Harry, and we go ahead and indulge it and, I don’t know, we end up solidifying a path that he may not even need to be on?” 

Harry closes his eyes, a slow sigh expelling from his lungs as he considers Draco’s reasoning, but he thinks about all the incidents that have been cropping up over the last year— the fits and the constant distress Teddy experiences. 

“And what if he’s just, I don’t know, responding to his grandmother’s death through this?”

“He says he’s a _girl_ , Draco, I don’t think this has anything to do with Andromeda.” 

“Regardless. He could just be _confused_ , Harry. I think we need to be careful.”

Harry finally opens his eyes. Draco sounds _scared_. Which is fine, but Harry has an inkling it’s much more than that.

“What are you afraid of?” Harry demands, his heartbeat racing the moment the little colour in Draco’s face drains away. Harry’s eyes narrow. He’s suddenly cold with fury. “Are you afraid of what other people will think?”

“ _No_ , you arsehole,” Draco hisses. “Have you ever considered what this may do to him? What his life will be like if we allow this to continue? Not only is he a half-blood Metamorphmagus child—”

“— _careful_ , Draco, your prejudice is showing—” Harry interjects with a snarl.

“—but he has two dead parents, is now adopted by his two _dads_ , one who used to be a _Death Eater_ , the other a self-righteous, insufferable prat—”

“So fucking what?” Harry barks. “Who cares if he’s all that _and more?_ We owe it to him to let him figure out who he wants to be. Will the world end if we let him wear a frock, grow his hair out, and call himself Thea, Draco? I don’t think so. It may very well not be permanent, but we’d be doing him—and us—a disservice if we don’t let him fucking _explore the bloody possibility_ …” 

Draco throws his hands up in frustration. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like _this,_ ” Draco says, quickly waving his hand back and forth between them before crossing his arms against his chest. “It’s always black or white, good versus evil, right or wrong. And you always put me on the _opposing_ side. I can never express my own opinions without you automatically deeming my feelings as _wrong_. So yes, I’m not going to talk to you when you’re like this!”

“You just don’t want to have this conversation because you can’t be honest with me! We both know what this is about, Draco. You’re scared of what people will think, just admit it!”

“That’s not true!” 

“Yes, it is _._ You think you’ve finally gotten back into the good graces of your parents after running away for eloping with a man. You think the Wizarding world has forgiven you of your sins during the war. You think you can have this perfect, cookie-cutter no-frills life and anything that threatens it needs to be repressed or flat out destroyed. I won’t let you do that to Teddy.”

“How dare you!” Draco cries, his eyes bright. “I love Teddy! He’s my child, Harry! I would never do anything to harm him or make him feel less-than. I’m allowed to be afraid for him!”

“You _can_ be afraid! That’s okay, but you also need to fight _for_ him, not _against_ him! And in my book, giving a toss about what other people think is definitely not in his best interests.”

Harry notices the exact moment Draco’s whole body becomes tightly wound, even as the other man doesn’t respond. Instead, Draco leans forward and with an anguished cry shoves all the contents on their coffee table—tea mugs, books, and toys— onto the floor. Harry watches through wide, furious eyes as Draco stands, stepping over the mess at his feet.

He throws his hands into the air. “ _Real_ fucking mature, Malfoy!” he admonishes.

“Fuck you,” Draco hisses before taking off towards the stairs leading to their bedroom.

**\---**

Later, in the middle of the night, with Teddy still tucked away in bed and the house warm and silent, Harry decides he can’t do this anymore. He made it about one whole hour sprawled on the sofa, his mind replaying his and Draco’s row, before deciding to give up and head upstairs to the comfort of a shared bed with an apology on his lips.

Before Harry can gather up his pillow and blanket, the floorboards creak and Draco is standing before him. Moonlight escapes from the window blinds casting a pale glow across the living room floor. Draco is illuminated in the throw of light, and squinting, Harry can tell that he has been crying. He sits up and puts on his glasses.

“I lied earlier,” Draco whispers. 

“I know,” Harry whispers back. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

There’s a heavy silence that hangs between them, thick and weighty. Harry hates it. He doesn’t want this type of oppressive stillness to exist between him and his husband. He knows that they’re both terrified of what’s to come from this realisation that their child is different and unhappy, and he _knows_ that despite Draco’s insistence that it’s not about what other people will think, some small part of it is. 

That doesn’t make him a bad person, it makes him human.

“I’m ashamed,” Draco admits. He wraps his arms around his body. Harry remains quiet, his eyes straining in the darkness to discern the look on Draco’s face. “I can’t believe I truly thought the best thing to do would be to ignore what our child obviously needs.” 

Relief floods through Harry. 

“I’m turning into Lucius,” Draco scoffs, low and bitter.

“You’re not,” Harry insists.  

  
Draco makes a small noise of discomfort, his hand coming up to cover his face. “I have to tell you something.” 

“Tell me.”

“That day, in the park when those monsters bullied Teddy. When we came home, I gave him a bath, he…he told me he wished his penis would fall off. He said he wished that it never existed in the first place…because he’s not supposed to have one.”

Harry closes his eyes, overwhelmed by Draco’s admission along with the ache in his chest that has long since become a permanent sensation.

Draco’s voice catches. “I told him he shouldn’t say those things. That…that I didn’t want to hear it.” Draco breaks down, shaky, wet sobs bubbling up his throat. “I shut down on him. I became completely closed off. In that moment I was my father—angry, confused, and disappointed because I refused to understand what my child was going through. I refused to even acknowledge it. I’m no better than those boys that bullied him. And I’m sorry. _I’m so sorry._ ” 

“Come here,” Harry whispers, opening his arms. The dark, heavy tension between them dissolves. 

“I need you,” Draco whimpers as he crawls into Harry’s lap. Harry throws up a one-way Silencing charm. They need to be comforted, they need to feel one another and know that they’re in this together. Harry’s careful as he removes his and Draco’s clothing, as his hands caress Draco’s hot skin, and as he slides into Draco’s body. He’s careful as he kisses Draco’s fears and his regrets away and soothes his overwrought nerves. They make love and it’s a slow and gentle conversation exchanged between them. When Draco comes undone, he opens up, so Harry can see every inch of his bared soul.

Draco presses his lips against the side of Harry’s face, thrusting down once more to chase after the remnants of his orgasm. His fingers curl into Harry’s hair as he brokenly whispers, “We promised. We promised. _We promised.”_

Harry shudders against him, his head falling back onto the sofa as his gaze locks with Draco’s.

In that moment they both know what needs to happen.

**\---**

“Thea _dora_?” Harry asks, both brows lifting.

“That’s what she said, yes. Even spelled it out for me. I looked it up. It’s Greek,” says Healer Walker.

Draco rubs his chin. “Well, that makes sense if Andromeda named her. The Blacks were all about constellations, Greek Mythologies…and tragedies,” Draco says with a crooked grin. Harry elbows him in the side.

“And how did Thea feel about the shopping excursion you all went on?”

Both Harry and Draco grin.

When they had decided to sit Thea down and discuss the feelings she was experiencing, they apologised to her for not listening to her in the beginning. They promised her that from now on they would respect her decision to go by the name Thea, and to only address her with female pronouns.

Harry would be lying if he said he didn’t bawl his eyes out at the look of pure excitement that had crossed her face after that.

They had then done an entire wardrobe purge— donating all of her old clothing to the local charity shops and replacing it with, quite literally, whatever she wanted: fluffy dresses, wacky-patterned tights, bedazzled jeans (Harry had been perplexed over the fact that _none_ of the jeans had pockets). Draco had gone a little crazy in the Girls section at Selfridges. Harry just didn’t understand why a five-year-old needed a £300 _Balmain_ t-shirt.

“She loved it,” Draco says excitedly. “We had so much fun.”

“I think Draco had a bit more fun than Thea did, to be honest,” Harry teases. Draco rolls his eyes. 

“Excellent! Thea is a _delightful_ young girl. Her progress has been outstanding and she’s very comfortable in her own skin now that she is able to match the inside with the outside. I recommend that you all keep doing what you’re doing. She’s transitioning just fine.”

Harry can feel when the tension leaves Draco’s body, the feeling mutual. They both shake Healer Walker’s hand and schedule another follow-up in a month’s time, determined to closely track Thea’s emotional progress and eventually her physical progress, as well. When they make it back out to the Mind Healer’s reception, Nurse Janelle is chatting up Thea.

“Oh! Harry, Draco! Nurse Janelle said she loves my shoes!” Thea says, tapping her trusty sparkly red shoes together.

“Well, they _are_ fabulous,” Draco quips, reaching down to swing Thea into his arms. Her long white blonde hair is pulled up into pigtails today and the smile that graces her face— well, it’s a smile Harry would travel to the end of the world to see.

Nurse Janelle laughs. “That they are! It was so nice seeing you again, Thea. I’ll see you next month, okay?” she says with a wink and a sweet smile before walking away.

Thea rests her head against Draco’s. “I’m hungry,” she says. 

“Okay, sweetheart. Let’s go home, I’ll whip us up something good,” Harry says. 

As they make their way through St Mungo’s to the floo, Draco’s free hand reaches out to clasp Harry’s. Their eyes meet and they share a small smile.

\---

When Harry gets home from work he finds Draco sprawled out on the couch, a foot dangling over the edge and resting on the floor, soft snores emitting from his slightly open mouth. He has a protective arm cradling a peacefully sleeping Thea to his chest. Today Thea’s hair is a long, wild mane of jet-black curls, a thin green ribbon tied as a headband around her head. A smile tugs at the corner of Harry’s lips and he moves to drape a throw over them, careful not to wake them. 

There’s a lightness about their child that Harry’s never seen before. He can’t believe they waited this long to help Thea emerge. He knows that this guilt, this regret, is something that Draco still carries with him, too, but they can do nothing about the past. They can only ensure that Thea continues to receive the best care, the best support, and so, so much love so she can continue to be happy and healthy.

Every single sign, all the tears, all the concerns, all the pain…has culminated to this unwavering and beautiful truth: Thea was not growing into a boy, but into the perfect portrait of a young girl.

_Their girl._

Harry then peers around the room, taking in the slightly messy chaos. It looks like Draco and Thea had one of their legendary tea parties, inviting Thea’s army of stuffed dragons, pygmy puffs, and unicorns to join them.

He’ll clean the room up later.

For now, all Harry wants to do is sit in the armchair across from his husband and daughter to watch them sleep.

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I just wanted to say that in this story, I decided to explore unique and realistic perspectives through Harry and Draco. Of course, people may respond differently to finding out their child is trans, I understand this, but in this case, this is just a few views out of thousands. Thank you. 
> 
> PS: Let Trans, Non-Binary, and Gender nonconforming kids **LIVE FREELY AND LOUDLY.**
> 
> PSS: You never know what some people are experiencing when they come across a certain fic. I just wanted to provide some links to excellent services available here in London/UK in case you’re someone who is reading for searching purposes. 
> 
> **National Trans Youth Network**  
>  https://www.theproudtrust.org/about-us/national-trans-youth-network/
> 
>  **Gendered Intelligence**  
>  http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/support/trans-youth/groups
> 
>  **Metro Charity**  
>  https://metrocharity.org.uk/youth/trans-youth-support
> 
>  **Mermaid**  
>  https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk
> 
>  **Mosaic**  
>  https://mosaicyouth.org.uk
> 
>  **Gender Identity Development Service**  
>  http://gids.nhs.uk
> 
>  
> 
> Please drop your links in the comments for your city’s local networks if you like. Thank you. 
> 
> xTrish


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